


The Pauper Princess and the Spark's Holiday

by herdthinner



Series: Tales of the Pauper Princess [1]
Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Crossover, Fanfiction, Gen, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 08:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1544384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herdthinner/pseuds/herdthinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THAT'S the description I've been looking for! "Original character-centric." Thanks, AO3!</p><p>Anyway, so... Yes, it's one of THOSE fanfics. The eponymous "Pauper Princess" is based on the main character of my first published book (1991), but who's been with me since long before then. She's been through many incarnations since the first book - mostly just in my head.</p><p>Now I'm trying her in the Girl Genius world. If you need a little more, imagine Disn-- er, an Amusement Park in the GG world with its very own Princess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teatime with Mouseheart Royalty!

**Author's Note:**

> The least that you need to know:  
> • I am physically unable to write short stories. This one will be four chapters. Sorry about all the paragraphs!  
> • Originally on my Livejournal in Oct 2012.
> 
> "This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four familiar faces have a holly, jolly holiday in a Spark-free land.

Once upon a time, the Spark known as Lord Mouseheart took it upon himself to create a vast and mighty kingdom. Unusually for a Spark, especially one as strong as he, his goals for his kingdom were... amusement and education. He had a vision - yes, a spark - to create a kingdom where all of his subjects would be the happiest and most industrious subjects anywhere else on earth, and be better educated, too. He also wanted his kingdom to be sought out by visitors the world over, and become the happiest visitors anywhere else on earth. Mostly it involved filling the kingdom with amusements, but _what amusements_! Amusements and diversions that were meant to amaze even other Sparks. And they did.

Lord Mouseheart and his team of other Sparks, who shared his vision - or were compelled to, anyway - made the most amazing clanks and machines on earth, albeit nonlethal ones. Oh, visitors could get shaken up - even frightened - by the wonderous devices, but Mouseheart was adamant that no casualties would come of them.

He also came up with the brilliant idea of having each village and town in the kingdom specialize in some area of expertise. So, one village might excel in creating amazing vehicles, another in automatons and humanoid clanks, another in mechanical recreations of major historical events, and so on. This proved to be quite a successful innovation for the layout of his kingdom. Unfortunately none of the towns or villages were particularly adept at the culinary arts. They were so focused on their respective mechanical and engineering feats, that to a place, their food was heavy, dull and uninteresting, no matter how much they advertised otherwise. And terribly fattening. Dieters bewared the Kingdom of Mouseheart!

Lord Mouseheart succeeded so well that visitors flocked there yearly by the millions, especially in summer, and Sparks practically fought each other for the chance to be in his employ. Well, more than "practically" in some cases. And Lord Mouseheart's subjects were indeed the happiest anywhere else on earth.

That was then. Strong Spark or not, Lord Mouseheart was not immortal, nor did he wish to be, for some reason, and he succumbed to the cold embrace of death. And Sparks being the way they are, reverted rather quickly to their innate nature, and began forgetting some of his mandates, such as the "don't hurt any of the guests" one. The chart tracking guest injuries shot up like a sheer cliff a mere month after Lord Mouseheart's death. Powerful former partners stepped in and took turns running the kingdom, which, at best, resulted in ho-hum additions, or at worst, a higher death and injury toll. In some ways it was even worse when a non-Spark managed to claim power. Then the kingdom became focused on just selling stuff.

This continued for a century or two. The kingdom of Mouseheart, though still vast, was no longer mighty, and Sparks began losing interest in plying their trade there. Those who remained, having grown up well beyond when Lord Mouseheart reigned, had none of his vision or concern for the safety of others, and built whatever devices they pleased. Ignorant guests, thinking they were still part of the original "amusement" mandate of the kingdom, learned otherwise very quickly. In some cases the Sparks created flat-out weapons, doomsday devices, and living abominations that mocked God and man.

Somehow, someway, a successor to the kingdom took stock of this, and made a fateful decree: the kingdom of Mouseheart was no more. No more amusements, no more devices, no more clanks or automatons or machines. Sparks: GET. OUT. The villages and towns were done specializing in anything, but were to be actual villages and towns like in a proper kingdom. If the subjects were still the happiest on earth, wonderful. If not, _deal with it_.

Surprisingly or not, this actually worked. Rather than respond with force to the banishment, Sparks packed up and left. Maybe their feelings were hurt. Maybe they'd heard about an even better kingdom of amusements in the islands of the East. Maybe they didn't need that dumb old stupid kingdom, anyway. Whatever the reason, Mouseheart became Spark-free. To seal the deal, the new king named the vast and not-mighty kingdom Guildern. For him it was something of an homage to the fact that the Sparks had had their own guild when they worked for Mouseheart.

And the newfound prosperity lasted! For about a year. With no Sparks, there were no devices, no elaborate machinery, no clanks, and no organic augmentations. There was simple machinery, of course - bellows and pulleys and steam engines and the like - and plenty of mechanics and smiths, but no one who could properly repair the truly sparky works. Alas, this led to the subjects becoming something of the opposite of the happiest on earth. Scarcely a year without conveniences, and grumbles of a coup were heard everywhere. So the king rescinded his decree - Sparks were no longer banished! - but due to an egregious clerical error, nobody knew that it had been. Oh, the king assumed that Sparks everywhere were being informed of this, but this was not the case. And so the wondrous devices and machines did not come back, and the subjects were now the _un_ happiest on earth. The king was going to lose his head soon - using a rusted-out, creaking automaton of an executioner, if the subjects had any sense of irony - when he came upon a life-saving idea.

The kingdom of Guildern would become a land of amusement once again: a _handmade_ land of amusement! Since his subjects had no choice but to do everything manually, they would do so for a living. For _tourists_. Life in the good old days! No clanks, no electrical lights, no motorized vehicular conveyances! Not a single luxury!

It was crazy enough to work, and did. Visitors seeking to escape the "craziness" of the world and go "off the grid" and "get back to nature" flocked to the kingdom. Usually the rich, who could afford that sort of nonsense, were the tourists, but an aggressive campaign to make the experience more affordable was launched, and now even the typical laborer could maybe afford a visit, if they'd saved up enough.There were also contests held four times a year so that a lucky family of four could win a stay inside the royal castle. The castle itself was still called Mouseheart, as a reminder if its origins. The royal family - yes, there was one of late- also called itself Mouseheart, whether that was its original surname or not. This drove the royal genealogists crazy, but at least they earned their pay.

The royal family had mostly followed the tradition of marrying other members of royalty and/or nobility. Trouble was, these days, the war between Baron Wulfenbach and the forces of the "Other" severely reduced the general population of eligible, aristocratic marital partners. Another problem was due to the very nature of Guildern. Its main export was entertainment, as well as education and happiness and peace and love and warm fuzzies. Other kingdoms regarded it as... well, something of a backwater. Also, its nature all but required the rulers to welcome everyone from everywhere. Standard political alliances - "your enemy is my enemy" and so forth - made that mandate difficult to follow. The current Prince, frustrated by a lack of traditional suitors and not a fan of tradition, anyway, convinced the King and Queen to (begrudgingly) let him go on sabbatical and find his own companion. This he did while disguised as a commoner so as not to be pursued solely for his title and money.

Ultimately the Prince found his soul-mate in, of all people, an entirely "common," tomboyish woman who had great compassion and a kind heart. By the time the Prince and the woman met, she had been orphaned and on her own for several years and was getting by as an inn-worker. Twice she had shown him kindness while at his lowest point - it turns out that he was not very good at surviving in the "real world" - and he became genuinely smitten when she unknowingly rescued him from starvation by sharing her meager portion of soup with him. A period of gradual wooing ensued - the Prince continuing his charade all the while - and her heart was won, too. It was only after she accepted his eventual proposal that she learned that he was a Prince, after all -- and didn't believe a word of it. Fortunately a trip to the castle, meeting his parents the King and Queen, being pampered by servants, and so on, convinced her of the truth.

The King and Queen ultimately agreed to the marriage, but also took advantage of her story and incorporated and stylized it into a living example of Dreams Coming True That Can Only Happen At Guildern! And so Prince Kelvin and his wife, Princess Mara, aka the Pauper Princess, continued to maintain their private lives, but also made appearances as Mouseheart "characters." The lucky contest winners mentioned earlier got an extra special treat, "Teatime with Mouseheart Royalty!" a one-time, extended meet and greet with either the Prince or the Princess. They also made regular forays into town for posing with locals and visitors.

Overall Mara came out the "winner" for popularity, especially for autographs and pictures. Most little girls simply could not bear another moment without meeting the Real Live Princess That Was So Nice and Always Hugged Them, Too. Little boys varied between wanting pictures with the Prince and with the mysterious Winslow, the original construct pet of Lord Mouseheart, now represented as a costumed character. The whereabouts of the real Winslow were unknown.

******

Mara was fawning over their infant son, Edward, when Kelvin entered the nursery to announce the latest contest winners. Edward's slightly older sister Isabel cried out to her father and toddled over. He swept her up in his arms and covered her in kisses before setting her down. Isabel wrapped her arms around his leg.

Mara was also all smiles until he waved the telltale notecard at her. She sighed. "Ah, that time again," she said. "But it's your turn, right?"

"No, not this time," he said.

"Come now," she said. "Last time we had those tall, blue people. The catlike ones. I hosted them."

"That was _two_ contests ago," he said. "Last time was the group of Jägermonsters."

She shuddered. "Uhhhh, that's right," she said. "But wait - you owe _me_ for them."

"No, you owe _me_ ," he said. " _I_ hosted, remember?"

"Yes, and then there was the time I was trying to go about my business, and you let them get away from you, run over and start smelling me."

"I did not _let_ them-"

" _Smelling_. Me. Kelvin," she said. "They may have been boisterous around you, but they did not surround you and start sniffing up every part of your body, telling you how 'nize' it is. I didn't know if they meant 'pleasant' nice, or 'tasty' nice. You know how I feel about those... creatures."

"You know, I did manage to diffuse the situation," said Kelvin.

"You owe me," she said.

"Fine," he said, then took a closer look at the notecard. "HMMmm," he said quietly, and turned to leave.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he said, and kept walking away.

"Who's the next group?" asked Mara.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "I owe you."

" _Kelvin_ ," she said icily. "You have a terrible poker face. What about this group? Tell me."

The Prince stopped and sighed, then turned and tried to appear casual. "Ah, just... a group of young women."

A long silence followed, broken only intermittently by the cooing of the infant Edward as his mother bounced him in her arms.

"It's my turn to host," she said.

*********************

Prior to their arrival, the usual forms had been sent to the latest contest winners. The legal houha such as liability forms, reminders about the taxes surrounding the prize, agreements to behave themselves, etc. Nobody got to set foot on the castle grounds without returning them. Other forms had been sent - optional ones - asking for more personal information such as interests and hobbies, ostensibly to make their visit more customized and thus more enjoyable, but of course also to give the Prince and Princess some idea of who the heck they were going to meet. Three of the forms for the latest contest winners had been returned, which told Mara that one of them was either too disorganized, or "too cool" to fill out things like that. Unfortunately even the ones who had returned their forms had been vague. For instance, one had listed "Adventure" as her interest, one "SCIENCE!" and another had simply written "wouldn't you like to know." So maybe that fourth one wasn't "too cool," after all.

On the day of their arrival Isabel was suffering from a sore tummy-wummy and was with the nurse and nanny, so this was foremost on the Princess' mind when the guests arrived for "Teatime." As always she looked more "Princessy" than usual, her long hair elaborately braided, her clothing brighter - save for the "patches" on her skirt and right sleeve - a tiara that she almost never wore otherwise, and various props on her belt as clues to her Mouseheart "character." Accompanying her was an official Mouseheart picture-taker, charged with capturing the guests' inevitably happy memories. Prior to meeting any group of winners, she or the Prince reviewed first names and pictures so they could greet each person by name on sight. Mouseheart Magic!

"Welcome!" said Mara, big smile, her hands held out in a warm, welcoming manner. She looked at each one while naming them. "Zeetha! Sanaa! Violetta! and Agatha! I am Princess Mara Mouseheart, and you are most welcome at Castle Mouseheart! We hope your stay with us will make you the happiest guests on earth!"

"Hey," said Zeetha as a way of greeting. "I'm the one who won the contest. I invited them to join _me_. So... that would make me more a guest of honor than them, huh?"

"Ah..."

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Zeetha..."

"Well, only one person wins," said Zeetha. "The rest of you are here by my graces."

"Oh, we are so grateful, your Grace," said Sanaa, earning a punch on the shoulder by Zeetha. Sanaa rubbed her arm and glared, then perked up when she reviewed her official Mouseheart pamphlet. In her excitement, _she_ punched _Zeetha_ in the shoulder.

"Ladies!" said Mara, still in a warm, friendly tone. "Please, there's no call here for any violence."

"What violence?" asked Zeetha in all sincerity.

"Hey!" said Sanaa, pointing at Mara. "Guys, this is the Pauper Princess! See, there's the soup ladle she used to win the heart of the Prince!"

Mara smiled and turned to show off the small ladle tucked into her belt. Doing her shtick was fine around children, but it was surreal for her to perform for adults. "That's right, ladies," she said. "I was working at an inn, when the Prince, in disguise, came in one night cold and wet and hungry, but he only had money to pay for a room, not a meal, and-"

"-And you decided to share your last bit of soup with him, even though you were living on scraps yourself!" Sanaa finished. She slammed the pamphlet against her chest and sighed. "That's so romantic!"

"You've got to be kidding me," groused Violetta, snatching the pamphlet away and skimming it.

"Oh, it is a true tale, ladies," said Mara, still all smiles.

"Sure, it is," said Violetta, flipping through the pages. "Why was the Prince in disguise? Wanted for a crime? Trying to escape his wife and find some extramarital nookie?"

"Tch," said Sanaa. "To find his True Love! Did you guys to do _any_ research on this place?"

"Well, that's even less believable," said Violetta, handing back the pamphlet. "It's not 'research,' it's just the story they made up about this place. If you have a fake castle, you have to have a fake Prince and Princess."

Mara, _still_ smiling, leaned in slowly until she was eye to eye with the much shorter woman. Violetta folded her arms and cocked her head.

"The Story. _Is_. True," said Mara quietly, and kept their gazes locked a few seconds longer. Then she broke away and straightened up.

Mara was about to return to the script, when Sanaa saw the picture-taker and got excited again. She tried to wave her friends over for a group picture, but only Agatha seemed willing to comply. Ultimately it was up to Mara to gently persuade the rest to grump their way over to pose for their first official Mouseheart Memory. Sanaa asked to hold her ladle, but Mara gently deflected the request and recommended any of the many gift shops where she could purchase her own commemorative ladle.

After the picture, Zeetha poked her in the arm. "I get my own suite, yes?" she said. "I'm the one who won; they're just _with_ me."

"Uh... well, our guests get the one suite," said Mara. "Working out the sleeping arrangements between the two rooms is up to our guests. We know that there is, technically _a_ winner, but all our guests are treated equally. We don't favor any over the others."

"That doesn't seem fair," said Zeetha.

"Ah- I take it that you're all family?" asked Mara.

" _Friends_ ," they all said at once.

"I see," said Mara,. "And have you seen your accommodations yet? Have you settled in?"

"We have," said Violetta, looking about the area with apparent suspicion. "They'll do."

"The lights don't work," said Zeetha. "You need to put in an order for that."

"I'd fix them myself," said Agatha, "But I couldn't find any wires, pipes, materials, power sources... there wasn't anything _to_ fix."

"Well, we use candles for our lights," said Mara.

"What??" said Zeetha. "Pfft. That's fine for the tourists, but we want at least that modern convenience."

"Ah... Do you ladies know how this kingdom works?" asked Mara. "And... you actually _are_ tour-"

"Don't mind her," said Violetta. "She's just afraid of the dark."

" _What_??" came from Zeetha, who growled before erupting into a blur of motion, as did Violetta. Zeetha took a swing at her jaw, and missed as Violetta ducked under the punch and slammed into Zeetha's torso with a "ha-HA!", then tucked under to gain the leverage for flipping her. Zeetha went flying into what was sure to be a painful _slam_ against a wall, when she was caught in midflight by the Princess, who used the momentum to swing her around and flip her head over heels and back onto her feet. The Princess then dropped down in a blur to sweep Violetta's legs from under her, and just as quickly rolled back up into a standing position. She adjusted her clothes, ladle, and tiara, and brushed off the dirt and dust while Violetta flipped herself back onto her feet, ready for another tussle.

"Hey!!" she yelled. "Miss Princess!" Castle guards, meanwhile, who were disguised as unarmed security walkers, but were in fact well-armed, were hurrying their way over. Mara shook her head quickly, and they stopped advancing, but kept a wary eye on them all.

Violetta wasn't finished. "What kind of vacation spot is this, where the staff can attack its guests??"

Mara cocked an eyebrow at the shorter woman and frowned, then whipped her hand out and caught Violetta's fingers in a painful hold. Violetta winced at the pain, and tried to pry Mara's hand off.

"Stop struggling," said Mara calmly, and addressed them as a group. "First, I am not 'staff.' I am the _actual_ Princess of this kingdom. Second, we are only human, and as such are allowed, when it calls for it, to 'break character,' and I thought it did just then. In which case," she said, and roughly let go of Violetta's fingers. She stepped back and dropped right back into Mouseheart Mode.

"Ladies!" she said, big smile, her hands held out in a warm, welcoming manner, "I am Princess Mara Mouseheart, and you are most welcome at Castle Mouseheart! We hope your stay with us will make you the happiest guests on earth!"

"...What just happened?" Zeetha whispered to Violetta.

"I don't know," Violetta whispered back. "I kinda like her, though."

**************

In the outdoor patio reserved for the special prizewinners, Mara's assistant Heather finished pouring the tea for them all, then sat into her own chair with her own cup. The Princess then took it upon herself to offer and dole out the additionals such as cream, sugar, and lemon. Various snacks such as petite-fours, ladyfingers, and nuts were all around. The official picture-taker hovered around, capturing candid pictures with abandon.

"Now, many guests are nervous and intimidated by these gatherings," said Mara. "For instance, they think they need to behave formally around us. Calling us 'Your Highness' and bowing and curtseying. Of course a certain decorum is expected, but..." She sighed. "Ah. Hm. Clearly you ladies don't have a problem 'being yourselves' around me. In which case I'm allowed a bit of it for myself."

"We're sorry about the trouble before, Princess," said Violetta. "Really. Believe it or not, it's how we play with each other." She indicated herself and Zeetha, who winked and flashed Mara a rather unsettling grin. "You have some decent moves yourself," she continued. "Where did you train?"

"Ah... Well, that's not really important," said Mara, tilting her head. "Ladies: we really do wish to make your holiday here fun and exciting for you! So this will help us get to know you better. But first, we should have asked if there are any other beverages you desire, besides tea. Do you fancy any juices? Plain water? Coffee?"

"NO!!" everyone but Agatha yelled with such force that both Mara and Heather almost fell back in their chairs. It was a miracle that their tea didn't go flying.

"Sorry again," said Zeetha. "Not everyone here can handle coffee. That's all." Agatha sighed and rolled her eyes. "Anything else is fine. What kind of wine do you have?"

"At... 10 in the morning?" said Mara.

"Ah, well, maybe just provided later for our rooms," sulked Zeetha.

"As you wish," said Mara, nodding to Heather, who took notes. "Now, ladies, thank you for filling out the forms about yourselves. If we can, we like to customize our guests' visits according to their interests. For instance, uh, Sanaa: you indicated 'adventure' as an interest. Could you elaborate?"

"Oh," said Sanaa with a shrug, "Well, you know, uh... anything where my life is in terrible danger! Fighting off hordes of crazed mutants! Escaping death rays and bottomless pits! Rescuing men from their own clumsy attempts to impress me! You know what I mean."

"...I'll see if we can work with that," said Mara. Heather gave her a confused look, but kept writing. "Uh... uh, Agatha? You've been nice and quiet." Zeetha snickered. "You enjoy science, or.. as you wrote it, 'SCIENCE!'"

"Yes," said Agatha, sipping at her tea. "I like to tinker with this and that."

"Is there anything we can do to assist with that?"

"Here?" she said, looking around. "I thought the point was, 'no machines.'"

"Well, there are _machines_ , but-"

"But no Sparks," she said. "Please elaborate, Princess: why are Sparks forbidden here?"

Mara sipped at her tea, then set it down and clasped her hands lightly. "They're not forbidden," she said, still keeping up at least a basic smile. "It's true, at one time, they'd been banished, but that lasted for a single year, no more. That law was rescinded after that, but... nobody noticed, or cared?" She shrugged. "Either way, everybody thinks that Sparks are forbidden here, and they're not. But then, since the point of this entire kingdom is tech-free recreation and education, Sparks wouldn't really fit in. Do you agree?"

Agatha took another sip while pondering her answer, then bobbed her head back and forth. "Mmmm, maybe. I don't know. I'm just not fond of people pretending to be something they're not."

"But... nobody pretends to be a Spark if they're not," said Mara.

"But are people pretending not to be one if they are?" said Agatha. "For instance, just to fit in with the 'theme' of this place?"

"I... I wouldn't really know, actually," said Mara. "As I said, no one is _forbidden_ from being a Spark."

"But are they forbidden from doing their work?"

"Not exactly," said Mara. "That is, their work cannot be _public_. If our purpose is to recreate a time when there was no diabolical machinery or crazy, clanky _things_ terrorizing others, then if a Spark creates such a device, it has to be kept out of sight and away from everyone. So in _that_ sense, yes, they must fit in with the 'theme' of this place."

"Hm," said Agatha, finishing her tea and pouring another cup. "I still don't like it. Wait-- did you say 'diabolical?'"

"You know," said Mara, trying to get back on track, "Many of our visitors have been Sparks, and we've gotten feedback from them, and they say that they enjoyed the break from their usual routines. They've described their experiences as peaceful, and stress-free, and-"

"But they wouldn't wanna live here!" said Violetta, cracking herself up.

" **Look**!" said Mara with more force than her guests had quite expected - or herself. She glared at the picture-taker, who capped his lens immediately. " _If_ there are people here pretending to be normal, except that they're not, and they're secretly uh, uh madboys and girls, maybe they have other reasons besides just trying to fit in with the 'theme.' Maybe they're concerned about uh, uh _losing_ themselves or.. or hurting people with their insane devices. Hurting innocent people. Hurting their own _children_!"

After a moment of awkward silence - even Heather had stopped writing - Mara buried her face in her hands.

"Ohhhh," she groaned. "This is why _he's_ so much better at this," she said. "I'm a terrible hostess. I just can't stay... 'on' all the time. If I were 'staff,' as you say, I would've been fired years ago." Heather gave the picture-taker the signal to take a hike. He complied immediately.

"Nonsense!" said Zeetha, slapping her hard on the back. "Your honesty is very refreshing! If you had been perky and cheerful no matter what, we'd have had Agatha take you apart and examine your inner workings!"

"Hm? I'm not an automaton."

"Well, we would have suspected you of being one," said Violetta.

"Uh... Princess," said Agatha. "If you don't mind, what is it you meant about 'losing themselves?' For Sparks, I mean?"

Mara sighed and poured herself more tea. Heather put a gentle hand on her back while fetching the cream and sugar for her. "Thank you," she whispered. "You're a Spark, aren't you?"

"More or less," said Agatha.

"I hope I did not offend you with the things I said," said Mara.

"Mmmmm. I'll manage."

"No, they were ugly words," said Mara. "Spoken out of fear and-- What I said was very inappropriate. I sincerely apologize. But... since you are one, I was hoping you would know what I meant by 'losing themselves?' Falling into the, um... Well, when they... they go into this... place of the mind where... where all of their ideas come at them at once and...?"

"I think you're referring to a Spark fugue state," said Agatha. "Or derogatorily, the 'Madness Place.'"

"Goddess knows I call it that," said Zeetha with a chuckle. Agatha glared.

"Yes," said Mara. "I didn't want to say, but a 'Madness.' That place where you-- where they lose track of time, and all they see are their ideas, their devices, their SCIENCE! as you say, and then... hours, _days_ have gone by, and they haven't slept, or eaten, or bathed, and they're covered in grime and grease and surrounded by drawings, tools, parts everywhere, and some _thing_ that does God knows what. Only destroys the world, _if_ they're lucky."

"Stop it!" said Sanaa, grabbing Agatha's arm. "You're getting her excited!"

"Pfft," said Agatha. "Destroying the world would be a waste. I'm fine with a mere death ray."

Mara looked up from her stupor, and stared at the girl. Agatha slapped her thigh and laughed.

"I'm joking, Princess!"

"No, you're not," said Zeetha.

"Nooo, I'm not," said Agatha with a sigh. "Princess?"

"Mmph."

"You sound like you have, uh, some personal experience with Sparks. Unpleasant experience. Or you _are_ one."

"What??" Mara straightened up immediately and sniffed. "No," she said. "You are mistaken." She cleared her throat and stood up. "Ladies, please enjoy your stay at Castle Mouseheart in the kingdom of Guildern. Our staff is at your service and will assist you with all of your needs, and will help you customize your visit so you, too, can be the happiest guests on earth!"

She turned to leave, followed by Heather, who accompanied her mistress back into the castle.

"Well!" said Sanaa. "She does a good impression of an automaton, though, doesn't she?"


	2. Hidden Mousehearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story so far:  
> • The history of the kingdom of Guildern (nee Mouseheart) was recounted  
> • Our heroines - okay, just Zeetha - had won the big prize to visit Castle Mouseheart, and "Teatime with the Pauper Princess"  
> • In little time at all, they managed to cause her to break character  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published on my Livejournal in Oct 2012.
> 
> "This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."

\--------------------

The Prince found his wife again with the children, holding Isabel against her chest, swaying gently back and forth, and muttering to herself. He stopped to greet the nurse and nanny and to coo at baby Edward.

"Hello, Darling," he said cheerfully, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She glanced up at him, grunted, then resumed her muttering. This bemused him. "Is this mood because of Isabel?" he asked. "Or did tea not go well?"

"How did you know?"

"I don't," he said. "That's why I'm asking. But first, how is she?"

"She seems better," said Mara, letting the girl lean back in her arms. "Sweetie? Is tum-tum feeling better?"

Isabel nodded, but did not speak. The nurse stepped forward.

"My lord, we have given her Essence of Esophia," she said. "It has eased her discomfort and helped her rest."

"That's good," he said. "You'll tell us if there are any further problems."

"Of course, your Highness."

"Well, I'll be here for a while," said Mara. "Being with them calms me."

The Prince paused, then pulled up a stool and sat beside her. "Why would you _not_ be calm?" he asked. "I know that you're not fond of playing the Pauper Princess, but it wasn't that bad, was it?" She gave him a Look. "Whaat?" he said. "Since when have guests-?"

"I broke character," she said.

"...Wow," he said. "They _must have_ been bad."

"No, it's..." she said, then trailed off. "Somehow I got drawn into an argument about Sparks, and then... No, actually, I broke character even before that. But in my defense, they were _attacking_ each other, so it's allowed in those cases. _Then_ I ended up in an argument about Sparks. Over tea."

Kelvin pinched his eyes together, then stroked his daughter's hair softly. She smiled at him and cooed. Of course their presence was calming to her. It was to him, too.

"Darling," he said. "If it was that troubling, I can take over for you."

" _No_ ," she said. "Trouble they may be, but you're not hosting those women."

"Because...?"

"Because their breasts arrive in a room three minutes before they do," she said. "Seriously. I don't know where they come from, but their biggest export must be back braces."

"Oh, come now, you know my eyes don't wander."

" _I_ could barely stop staring at them," she said. "You'd be powerless."

"You're trying to change the subject," he said. "Stop that. You said you were arguing with them. Why would you be arguing with them about anything? Least of all Sparks? No matter what, you just smile and gloss over whatever they're saying."

"I know _that_ ," she said.

"Then what happened?"

She sighed. "I don't know. It's sort of a blur, really. But then, Heather took notes, so maybe she can read them back to me," she said, forcing a chuckle. "I mean, it's not like guests don't snipe about this thing or that thing, and I've always just smiled and stuck to the script and sent them on their merry way. But that girl just... got to me."

"Which girl?"

"Um..." She sighed again. "See, I got so discombobulated that I'm forgetting names already. Blonde girl, glasses, bug choker, _huge_ bre-- Ah, yes, Agatha."

"Oh," he said. Then: " _Oh!_ "

"What?"

"Well, you researched them first, right?" he asked.

"No," she groaned. "I was busy looking after Isabel, and just looked at their self-evals, and pictures. No research."

"Oh, good lord, no wonder," he said. "Then you might have known that the 'blonde girl' was Lady Agatha Heterodyne. And that the other guests are...!" He pulled out a notecard and squinted at it. "Her companions," he finished, and put it away.

Mara scoffed. "Stop that, it was not her. People like her don't come to places like this."

"We didn't think Jägermonsters did, either."

Mara shuddered at that memory. "Well, that's just great," she said. "I sort of insulted her."

" _Excuse me_??"

"Calm down, not _her directly_ ," she said. "Just... Sparks in general. Like I said, I got drawn into an argument about them, and I said... well, non-complimentary things about them. But I did apologize for my comments."

"Well, thank God for that," said Kelvin. "The last thing we need is some city-sized clank wiping out the kingdom because you were rude to a member of the most well-known Spark family in history."

"You're kind of echoing my complaint about them," said Mara.

"How so?"

"It's their obsession with death and destruction," said Mara. "Sparks, I mean. Darling, you know how my life was before we met. How _red_ it was. I renounced that life, that way. No more death, no more destruction. Only you now, and the children. Do you understand?"

"Well, of course," he said. "Look, I've sensed that you have a discomfort about them, and I've been careful to abide, but now by your own admission, you've argued with and insulted a guest. That's not acceptable. Where does this hatred of them-?"

"I wouldn't call it... _hatred_ , exactly-"

"Dislike? Mistrust? Whatever you call it, it's not fair to paint _all_ of them with the same brush. That's pedestrian thinking, and we're above that."

"I'm 'pedestrian,' remember?"

"You're not a commoner anymore, Mara," he said. "And I wouldn't have married you if you _were_ pedestrian, or petty. Frankly, this prejudice disturbs me. You need to give it a good, long think and then tell me that they're still all the same."

"Oh, please," she said. "Every Spark group we've hosted has had at least one of them vowing to 'Show them! Show them all!' Whoever 'they' are."

"Oh, all right. I'll give you that one," said Kelvin. "But you do remember that this entire kingdom was founded by a Spark, right? One who was dedicated to creating fun, educational, _safe_ devices?"

"Gosh, I'd totally forgotten that," she said. "Also, the entire kingdom was almost _destroyed_ when they all ran amok immediately after the founder's death; remember that?"

"Oh, you're impossible," he said, throwing up his hands.

Mara ignored him and looked at her daughter, who was asleep now, and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. "She accused me of being a Spark, you know."

"Who?"

"Your famous 'Lady Heterodyne.'"

"Why would she do that?"

She responded by staring at a spot on the wall.

"Mara: why would she accuse you of being a Spark?"

"...I have no idea," she said softly, and resumed tending to her daughter.

*******************

Violetta was splayed out on her handmade, but comfortable bed, and already bored to tears. "This is _your_ fault," she said.

Zeetha scoffed. "You didn't _have_ to come," she said.

"Yes, I did," said Violetta. "Because where my Lady goes, I must follow."

Her Lady, meanwhile, was obsessed with examining all the walls and opening every door, drawer, and compartment in search of something - anything - mechanical. Just then, the iconic sound of a cuckoo clock played in the adjacent bedroom. "Ooooo," she said, and followed the sound.

Zeetha called after her. "They probably won't like it if you 'improve' their toys!"

"At least she's not bored," said Violetta.

"Well, I won't be!" said Sanaa. "Come on! We _are_ special guests here, and the pamphlet says that we're allowed to explore the grounds! And look: I got this book that helps us locate secret insignias! I know it's not an adventure that could lead to our horrible deaths, but it's still like a big puzzle, or game!"

"I dunno," said Violetta. " _I'm_ ready to die a horrible death."

"Well, come on, then!" said Sanaa. "Help me find them all!"

"What is this about 'secret markings?'" grumbled Violetta, sitting up. Sanaa held out the book. "What? 'Hidden Mousehearts?' Are you kidding?"

"Well, what else are we supposed to do??"

"Girl's got a point," said Zeetha.

"Well, what about you, then?" said Sanaa. "Join us in our grand adventure?"

"I'll keep an eye on Agatha," said Zeetha. "Or more accurately, any 'toys' that she finds."

"Mm- _hm_ ," said Violetta, then turned towards the other bedroom. "Hey, Agatha! Sanaa has a book for finding hidden _clanks_ in the castle! Wanna come with us?"

"No, no, the book is for-"

"COMING!" Agatha was in the room like a shot, grinning and gripping her spanner like her life depended on it. "LET'S GO!"

The trio departed, leaving Zeetha alone with her thoughts. She peeked into the other bedroom, afraid of what state she might find the poor cuckoo in. "Ahh, _Agatha_!"

*****

Agatha got over the fact that they were looking for Hidden Mousehearts rather than clanks, but not without some residual sulking. Sanaa intended to lead the chase by describing their locations as they went from area to area.

"There's one," said Violetta. Sanaa looked over and did, indeed, see the Hidden Mouseheart. She consulted the book so she could mark it off as found.

"There's one," said Agatha.

"What? Show me. Which-"

"There's one."

"And another."

"Under that sofa."

"Wait, let me mark them off-"

"Right above us."

"There's another."

"Stop, gimme a chance to-"

" _Obvious_ one there."

"Yeah, who are they kidding?"

"Girls-!"

"There's one."

"NNNGH!!"

******************

Later, Violetta and Agatha sat on a bench in another corridor. Sanaa had 'ordered' them to stop helping her find Mousehearts and to let her find at least _one_ of them on her own. Her face was buried in the book, in spite of Violetta's advice that it was easier to find things _if one was actually looking for them_. Finally Sanaa got excited and waved them both over, pointing frantically to a spot on the wall that she insisted was a Mouseheart that she'd found all on her own (with the help of the book).

The women stood up from the bench, but Agatha was distracted by an unexpected sound coming from another part of the floor. It was a humming. No, a _whirring_. Very faint, but definitely a sound of something being run by electricity. Violetta joined Sanaa and began to argue with her, insisting that her "Mouseheart" was far too obscure to be a proper one. Just to annoy Sanaa, she started pointing out all the real ones she'd spotted in the corridor so far.

Agatha followed the sound until she came upon a heavy, wooden door that was ajar. She also detected the distinct, but very faint, smell of machine oil, and pushed open the door. Inside was what appeared to be somebody's study and/or parlor. It had both kinds of furniture for those uses. At the far end of the room, on a large dresser, sat a shiny device of polished brass, tubes, and wires. She only needed to be a few steps closer to it to realize that it was an air purifier, the kind that a Spark would have designed and built. And she could tell that it wasn't working at full capacity.

She had just begun to examine it, when a man walked in from the adjacent room. She had skimmed the pamphlets about Mouseheart and the kingdom of Guildern... and realized that she had very likely intruded on Prince Kelvin's private chambers.

"AHEM! May I assist you with something, Miss?" he said stiffly. That was usually enough to send curious guests scampering.

"Ah! Oh," she said, and not scampering. "It looks like I may have unintentionally intruded. See, I was with my friends - you know, the contest winners? - and got lost. They're looking for, ha ha, 'Hidden Mousehearts.'"

A list went through his mind: _Blonde, glasses, scarab choker, HUGE b-_

He spoke aloud, "Oh! You wouldn't happen to be the Lady Heterodyne, would you?"

"Uh, yes!" she said. "Yes, I am! You must be Prince Kelvin."

"Ah, I'm honored that you recognize me," he said. "And allow me to say that it's equally an honor to host someone of your stature and renown in our home." It was a challenge to keep his focus on her eyes. _Good lord, she wasn't kidding about their bre_ -

"Oh..." she said. "Well, thank you. But I guess I should try to find my friends again. You have a lovely castle here. Comfortable rooms."

"Thank you," he said. "Er-- Lady Heterodyne..."

"Hm?"

He sighed. "This is awkward, but-- my wife-- the Princess, that is. She... claims that your teatime discussion got a little bit... heated?"

"Oh," she said. "That. It's all right."

"No," he said, with thought and deliberation. "No, it is not. If the Princess said anything to offend, **I** will take responsibility. And if there's anything I can do to make amends, please let me know."

"Really, it's water under the bridge," she said. "She did apologize. But thank you for the offer."Agatha turned to leave, and then almost immediately turned back. "Oh! Uh... your air purifier here."

"You know what it is?"

"Well, it's... kind of a hobby of mine," she said.

"We've heard bits and pieces about your interests," he said.

"Good! Then you'll know that I know that it needs repair. Also, I thought you had a rule against Spark devices being out in public?"

"This isn't public," he said. "These are our private chambers."

"Oh-oh-oh, yes, of course," she said. "Sorry. But... uh... if I may, how long has it been broken?"

The Prince shrugged. "A few months now," he said. "We've been tolerating it. We just turn it up higher and higher. It's one thing to ship Spark devices in, but another to find people who can repair them."

"Well, _I_ can repair it!" she said, grinning.

"No, no, we mustn't impose on our guests," he said. "Our job is to make your stay a joy and a pleasure, not put you to work."

"But working _is_ a joy and a pleasure for me," she said. "I'd be happy to fix it. Really."

"I... Well, far be it from me to turn down the offer of a _Heterodyne_ ," said the Prince. With a giggle and a clap, Agatha immediately pulled off the top of the machine, and began humming to herself as she poked and prodded its innards. She waved the Prince over and pointed to different things.

"See, this intake hose has hardened and is starting to flake apart. Also, the compression valve is out of alignment, but the _real_ trouble is from this calibration wheel. It's not just loose, but also--" She stopped, and then spoke more loudly for some reason. "You know, your Highness, repairing this will be painfully easy. I'm surprised you haven't done it yourself by now."

The Prince stared at her, then chuckled. "Lady Heterodyne, I assure you that I haven't the slightest mechanical abilities. Even what you _showed_ me, I don't understand."

"No, no, not _your_ Highness," she said, turning and pointing. " _Her_ Highness."

The Prince gave her a quizzical look, then followed suit to see Mara, standing stock-still in the center of the room. She was looking the Lady right in the eyes. Agatha approached her, smiling warmly.

"Princess," she said gently, "This is student work. Child's play. Come on; take a look."

Mara was very subtly shaking her head, but still allowed Agatha to take her hand and bring her across the room. She resisted looking inside of the machine, but ultimately gave in to temptation. Agatha watched her gaze flitting to and fro. Her mouth began moving so slightly that it seemed to be a mere tremble, but Agatha could tell that she was working out an inventory of parts and defects, as she had. She put a small screwdriver in Mara's hand. It took her a moment to realize that she was now holding something.

"Here," said Agatha. "This is what I'd start with." She took a step away and exchanged looks with the Prince.

"Mara?" he said, but she did not respond. "Darling?" Now she looked his way. "Is the Lady correct? You can repair this with no trouble?"

"I..." she said, and looked back at the device.

"Mara? _Are_ you a Spark?"

For a moment, there was no sound, no movement, coming from his wife. Then suddenly her mouth tightened, her eyes narrowed, and she flipped the screwdriver so that she was holding it like a throwing dagger, and _hurled_ it with all her might _into_ the stone wall.

Only the handle was sticking out. Then she let out a great cry of rage and stormed into the next suite, slamming the door hard enough to shake all of the furniture and set all paintings on the wall askew. The Prince and the Lady were both too stunned to react, until at once, they both made their way towards the Princess- Kelvin to try to open the door - which was locked, so he began pounding - and Agatha to retrieve her tool from the wall.

 _Pound Pound Pound_ "Mara! Please open up! Let's talk!" _Pound Pound Pound_

"Go away! I need time alone!" her muffled voice came from the other side. Agatha was unable to simply pull out her tool, so she began jiggling it in the stone to loosen it.

"I understand that, Darling, but I want to make sure you're all right!"

"Of course I'm not all right! I told you, just give me some time alone!"

The Prince grunted in frustration and hit the door one last time. He looked to his right and saw Agatha still working on pulling out the tool. He put a hand on her shoulder; she stepped aside, and with a loud grunt, the Prince _yanked_ the tool from the wall. After a pause, he handed it back to her and began stomping from the room.

"Uh...!" Agatha called after him. He stopped and looked at her. "Should I just... stay here and put this back together?"

The Prince stared. " _Please_ ," he said, and left the room.

Because they lived in a suite, the Prince could just step into the hallway, then try that door to their bedroom. Mara had locked that, too. The Prince pounded on it.

She yelled again from the other side. "Oh, for the love of- Will you just give me some space?"

"I will, but I... I have to attend a meeting right now, and there are some items I need in there!"

"What are they?"

"This is silly; let me in so I can retrieve them!"

"What are they?"

The Prince almost replied with another plea, then sighed and leaned against the door. "My... blue coat and... my tall, black boots! But you don't know where I keep them, so please let me-" He almost fell in when the door was yanked open. Mara pushed the items he described into his arms, then tried to shut the door again, but he blocked her efforts and forced his way inside.

"Stop that!" she said. "Just... why won't you leave me in peace? I just-- need-- time-- _alone_!"

"I know," he said calmly, shutting the door and then laying the coat and boots on the bed. He leaned against the bedpost casually. She stared at him a while, then threw up her hands and began pacing.

"Then why are you still here?"

"This is _our_ bedroom, you know," he said.

"You are _not_ respecting my wishes," she said. "If _you_ told _me_ that you needed time alone, I would--- not be in here!"

"You're right," he said. "But I have done so before, when you've been upset and needed time to yourself to calm down. I think this is different, though."

"How?" she said. "How could this _possibly_ be any different?"

"This is the first time you've put a hole in the wall. Darling," he said, standing up and slowly walking towards her. She shook her head and began taking hesitant steps backwards, but small enough so that he could still catch up. "I will leave you be, but you must answer this question first."

"You want to know if I'm a Spark."

"Yes," he said. "And why that would be so upsetting to you."

"That's two questions."

"This is not a time to be pedantic. Are you a Spark or not?"

She looked deep into his eyes, and then sighed. "I don't know," she said.

"You slammed a screwdriver into a stone wall because of _doubt_?"

"It went in?" she said. "Really? Huh. I was just trying to make a lot of noise. Is it still in the wall?"

"Mara!"

"Ahhhh, I really don't know!" she said. "You know where I'm from. Land of savages and marauders. No schools or education anywhere. How could a Spark come from that? And yet... I remember there was a child... a little girl - couldn't have been more than five. Her father caught her building devices. But he beat her. He hit her, over and over... Trying to beat the Spark out of her? I don't know. I mean, if she had it."

"That's horrible!"

"Well, he wasn't very - her father wasn't known for his brains," she said. "Just his brawn. But then, there were wars at the time. The Baron... the 'Other,' or whatever it was... fighting all over Europa, so... maybe he was... trying to protect her or something. In his own, stupid, brutal way. I don't know."

"What kind of devices was she trying to build?"

Mara was looking at her husband, yet _not_ looking at him, as though her mind was elsewhere entirely. Her eyes were greatly dilated. He had seen this look before, the first time she had spoken about her past, and a few times since, so he knew to just wait it out. As if on cue, Mara seemed to snap awake. She fussed for a bit, then pushed past her husband and made for the door. "I can't believe this, what am I doing?" she muttered. "Standing around moping, when I should be with the children!"


	3. Princesses Make Everything More Spark...ly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story so far:  
> -Our Heroines found _all_ the Hidden Mousehearts  
>  -The Princess reacted poorly to the notion of fixing her own broken air purifier  
> -So Agatha fixed it... **or did she??**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published on my Livejournal in Oct 2012.
> 
> "This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."

\---------------------------

After the terrible fright of losing Agatha, who was found tinkering with, of all things, a Spark device, the ladies regrouped and then decided to visit the nearby town of Allcourt for its weeklong music festival. True to form, all instruments were analog - no electronica of any kind - and sounded... pretty good. The food was so-so, though, and the merchandise vast. Sanaa managed to snag her beloved commemorative ladle, as well as plush versions of the Prince and Princess, the latter sporting its own tiny, wooden ladle and tiny patches on its dress. Of the four, only Sanaa was bogged down with shopping bags. Agatha had purchased a small book with the claim of telling the "untold" story of Guildern/Mouseheart, and Violetta and Zeetha returned empty-handed.

There were no other official meet-and-greets planned with the royals for the rest of their stay, so they dined alone, but were attended by the castle staff. The trip _was_ "all expenses paid," so the women took advantage of this. The food and drink flowed freely all night.

The royal couple, meanwhile, turned in early, as was their custom. There had been no other discussion between them about the events of the day since the incident with the screwdriver. The children had been put to bed in the nursery long before. Mara's time with them that afternoon had melted her cares and worries away, except for the lingering concern about Isabel's stomach problem. The Essence of Esophia was helping, but not making it go away. The nanny and nurse would wake them if anything came up, and so, eventually, she drifted off to sleep.

_Whoooosh-Huhhhhh, Whoooosh-Huhhhhh, Whoooosh-Huhhhhh..._

Both of them shot up in bed.

"What the hell is that??" said Kelvin. "Are we being attacked??"

"Shhhhh!" said Mara. The door to the next room, where the air purifier was, was open. She listened intently.

_Whoooosh-Huhhhhh, Whoooosh-Huhhhhh, Whoooosh-Huhhhhh..._

The Prince whispered, "It's from the next room!" He yanked back his sheets and climbed slowly from bed.

_Chug... Chugg... Chuggg... CHUGGGG... CHUGGGGGG...._

He grabbed a poker from the fireplace and brandished it, creeping towards the door.

"What are you doing?" said Mara, climbing to her feet. "You don't need that. It's the purifier!"

"Shh!" he said, trying to wave her back from the door. She wrestled with him for the poker, won, and set it down. Together they entered the next room, where the purifier was pulsing enthusiastically. Sometimes a puff of something that did not smell fresh came out of its vent.

"Eugh! Good lord!" said Kelvin. "What's the matter with this thing?"

_Chitty-chitty chitty-chitty chitty-chitty chitty-chitty..._

"Well, obviously, it's broken-"

_BANG BANG!!_

Both of them jumped back in fright. Kelvin threw his arm across Mara, who gently pushed it down and peered at the device.

"Just turn it off so we can get some sleep," he said.

"I'm _trying_ to," she muttered, feeling her hand along its surface.

_BOOM shokkalokkalokka BOOM shokkalokkalokka BOOM shokkalokkalokka..._

"The off switch is right here, remember?" he said, feeling for its usual place. There was no switch. He felt around some more, growing more frustrated. "What the hell?"

"The switch was moved," she said.

"Well, where's the power cord?" he said, looking behind the dresser it rested on.

"Kelvin, I'll deal with this," she said.

_OhhhhWayyyyOh...WayyyyOhhhhWayyyy...OhhhhWayyyyOh...WayyyyOhhhhWayyyy..._

"I'm just trying to help," he said, and grabbed a wire. "I think this is it."

"NO!" screamed Mara, grabbing his wrist tightly. She was hyperventilating. "Don't - touch - anything."

Kelvin let go and held up his hands. "I'm... just trying to shut this damned thing off."

"I will handle this," she said, popping off the top and peering inside. She poked her hand around a little bit in the dim light, then sighed. "Of _course_ she moved the switch to the inside," she muttered. "That makes _perfect_ sense."

_OooogaOooogaOooogaShokka OooogaOoooga==CLICK==_

The purifier was off, but Mara continued muttering to herself as she poked at the device. Kelvin sighed in relief and put his arm around her to lead her away. She gently peeled his arm off her.

"No, you go to bed," she muttered, still peering inside and poking at the device's innards. "I'll be there shortly."

"Dear, you've had a long, and stressful, day," he said. "Look at it in the morning."

"Go on," she said, waving him away. Her attention was still on the device. "Get to bed. I won't be long."

"Look, the Lady Heterodyne did this," he said. "We'll ask her to check it. Maybe she was in a hurry, or didn't have the right tools."

"Bed. Now."

"Not without you," he said, folding his arms. "You shouldn't be able to fix this, remember?"

"Darling," she said, turning to him, wrapping her arms around him, and giving him a long, deep kiss. When they parted, she looked deep into his eyes. "Get. Back. To Bed," she whispered. "Now."

He set his jaw and looked back at the device, then at her. "Very well," he said, backing away. "But you're just looking at it for a few minutes. You're not staying up all night with this thing."

"I'll be in as soon as I can," she said, blowing him a kiss. As soon as he left the room, she ran to the door and shut it tight, then raced over to a cupboard and unlocked its bottom drawers. From those she pulled out four battery-powered lanterns that she turned on and spread out all over the dresser. Now that there were real lights in the room, she could examine the thing properly. Her eyes grew bigger and rounder, their pupils dilated, and a big grin slowly spread over her face.

"Hee hee!"

*************************

Kelvin dreamed about walking along a seashore at sunrise. He stopped and listened to the waves lapping gently at the shore, and breathed deep the cool, sweet breeze that only the sea could provide. He removed his shoes and let the water caress his toes and feet. Then his eyes opened. He was back in bed, but was probably still dreaming, because he could still hear waves lapping at the shore, and Guildern did not have a coastline. And he could still smell something sweet. Groggily he turned over to ask his wife if she was experiencing the same thing, but her side of the bed was empty.

Kelvin sat up in bed, blinking and rubbing his eyes, yawning, stretching. The ocean sounded like it was in the next room. He arose from bed and pulled on his robe, then walked to the doorway.

The purifier was still on the table, but seemed to be larger now. More items had been added to the tops and sides, but for what purpose, he could not tell. There was no movement from it at all - not like the rough vibrations of last night - but it was doing a perfect imitation of the sounds of a seashore. He breathed in deeply again, and smelled the sweet air emitting from its vent.

On the floor, one leg stretched out, the other bent at the knee, and one arm draped over that, sat his wife Mara, still in her nightgown, which now had a tear on its side and grease and dirt stains everywhere else. Her free hand rested on the floor, idly fingering a spanner. If she noticed his presence, she did not indicate it. She was staring off into the distance, looking pensive but tired.

"Darling?" he said. She still did not look his way.

"Good morning," she said flatly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," he said. "Yes, I-- slept _very_ well. I dreamed about walking on the seashore, and then woke up and- still heard it."

"Good," she said. "I was wondering if I'd got the sound right."

There was no sound but the (virtual) waves of the sea.

"Um," he said, "Did _you_ sleep well?"

Still looking straight ahead, she chuckled once. "I finished about 30 minutes ago," she said, finally looking at him. "So 'no.'"

"You worked on this all night?" he said, pushing aside tools and leftover materials so he could sit beside her. "I thought it was supposed to be a simple fix."

"Oh, it was," she said, nodding. "Fixing the purifier itself was simple, as the Lady said. I was done in about 10 minutes.  Well, 20 if you count undoing her damage."

"Damage, eh?" he said. "That's surprising. She and her family have such a reputation. I wonder if it's exaggerated."

"She broke it on purpose," Mara said.

"...Are you sure? That would be quite devious."

Mara shrugged. "I suspect that she meant well," she said. "Forcing me to confront... myself, you know. It was set up to break in the middle of the night so it would, uh, _motivate_ me to fix it myself. That's why the switch was moved to the inside. To force me to open it up and start examining it."

"That still strikes me as devious," he said. " _Ah_ \- You know, maybe this is a prank because you were rude during tea."

"Honestly, I'm too tired to work out her reason for it," said Mara.

"I can imagine," he said. "Good lord; you were really up the rest of the night? You didn't sleep at all? But if the repair took so little time, what were you doing until now?"

Mara closed her eyes and let her head drop back. She smiled sadly. "Finally you ask," she said. "You see, it's what the Madness does. It's not enough for something to do what it's supposed to do. It's supposed to do _more._ MoreMoreMore. Even if it doesn't make sense. While working on it, I realized there was so much room inside that it could have even more functions to it. So I decided to add a sentry function to it. But no, then it wasn't enough to just sound an alarm or flash bright lights; it had to actively subdue any threats."

"'Actively subdue?' Well, what does it do now?" asked Kelvin.

She turned her head slowly to look at him. "Do you want to see?"

"Should I be afraid I asked?"

"It's nonlethal, Darling," she said. "I stopped myself in time from making it worse. I'd use myself to demonstrate, but it's already calibrated to my voice and scanned my appearance."

Kelvin was standing up as she spoke, giving double takes along the way at phrases like "calibrated" and "scanned my appearance."

"You're sure that it's nonlethal?" he said.

"Yes," she said. She had not moved so far from her spot on the floor, or changed position. She was too tired. "You know, I could just describe what it does."

He held up his hands. "I'm going to trust you, Darling. Please don't disappoint me. Or hurt me. But what should I do?"

"Just stand in the middle of the room," she said. He did so. "Here goes, then." She looked up and behind herself, at the purifier. "Puri," she said, "Intruder alert."

"Darling, are you sure you want to be- _What the hell_?!" In an instant the entire purifier was a blur of movement, exploding outwards, shifting, whirring, sliding, clicking itself into a humanoid shape, but with no obvious head, and it _leaped_ from the dresser and at the Prince, all in one fluid motion.

"Intruder alert," it echoed, in a mechanical version of Mara's voice.

"Don't move, dear," said Mara calmly. "Let it demonstrate."

" _Are you crazy?? I'm-_ OOF!" The clank, or 'Puri,' as she called it, slammed into the Prince, but did not knock him down, but used its momentum to catch him, pick him up, flip him horizontal, slam him onto a nearby table, and hogtie him with a rope that shot out of one its hands. This occurred in about three seconds.

"Intruder restrained," it said, and pressed an "elbow" against the small of his back to hold him down.

"Uncle! Uncle!" said Kelvin. Mara finally stood up.

"Puri: stand down," she said.

"Standing down," it said in her voice, then leaped back onto the dresser, shifting, whirring, sliding, and clicking itself back into the shape of an air purifier. The sounds of the ocean and a gentle breeze wafted through the room.

Mara untied her husband, who hopped off the table and onto his feet. For a moment all he could do was stare at her and rub his wrists, while she tried to avoid eye contact.

"I don't think you can say anymore," he said, "That you 'don't know' if you're a Spark."

"Actually, I-- couldn't really say that before, either," she said, looking down. "It's something I don't like about myself. Something I've been trying to make go away. And I was hoping you'd never learn about it."

"But why not?" he said. "Have I ever given you reason to think I'd-- I don't know, be angry? Reject you? Is that what you thought?"

"No," she said. "No, it isn't about you, but me. Um... You know that I was the little girl whose father beat her for-?"

"-Building devices, yes," he said. "I think I figured that out."

"Yes, ah..." she said. "I'm not very good at subtle. But now that you know-" She took him by the hand and led him to the wall next to her bookshelf, the one with a few historical tomes, law books, plays, storybooks and other literature. She fiddled with a spot that looked like a stain on the wall, and with a slight hiss of air, a stone door revealed its cracks, and opened slowly on its own.

Kelvin's eyes went wide as she gestured to the secret room, really more of a secret closet, piled high with many times more books as on the "real" shelf, but about the scientific method, mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, imagineering, calculus, chemistry, biology, xenobiology, physics, quantum physics, logic and reasoning, geology, astronomy, propulsion science, and other subjects he wasn't certain were real, but what did he know? And scattered everywhere else, in stacks, on the shelves, on the floor, were reams of drawings, equations, doodles, and lovingly crafted watercolors and oils of would-be devices. While Kelvin stood slack-jawed, she gathered up a sampling of pages and brought them to a table, spread them out, and directed his attention to them.

"How long have you been doing this?" he said. "And-- when did you build _that_?" He pointed to the secret room. "It wasn't part of this room."

"Actually, it was," she said. "But I suppose knowledge of it was lost over the years? As for all this-" she gestured to the drawings- "Since we've been together."

"But that's only been three years," he said.

She nodded. "Until then," she said. "I was... afraid of putting any of my ideas on paper. Here, after some time, I finally felt safe enough to start, but-- not safe enough to do it openly. I hope you can forgive me that, but I was.... I _am_... afraid of losing myself. Keeping the Madness limited to just filling closets full of drawings and schematics has been difficult enough. I could manage to ignore that thing-" she pointed to 'Puri' - "because it was sealed up. I couldn't see what was inside. And I used it as sort of a test of my will, to keep it strong. That's why I didn't insist on throwing it away."

"But _when_ have you been doing all this?" he asked. She looked away contritely.

"Uh... I guess it's good that you're a heavy sleeper?" she said.

"Hnh. And I thought it was taking care of the children that made you so tired."

"Oh, they helped with that."

"Bu-bu-but Darling, why have you been torturing yourself like this?" said Kelvin, holding her arms. "You're not alone anymore. There's no one who's going to punish you for this. No one who'll stifle your talent or your passion."

She let him hold her arms for a moment, but when he started to lean in for a kiss, she pulled away and grabbed some drawings from the table. "Look at these," she said. He did, but his expression showed noncomprehension, so she took them back and held them up one by one, setting them down as she described each device's function.

"This device inverts internal and external organs," she said. "That's another way of saying that it turns people inside out. Its purpose? Killing them. This is a remote-controlled, flying gatling gun. Yes, a _gun_ that flies. Its purpose? Killing people. This is a tank whose front is modeled after a lawn mower. Its purpose? Killing people. Horribly killing people. This is a doomsday device that activates every tectonic plate and faultline on earth, simultaneously. _This_ is a death ray. I don't have to explain _its_ purpose, right? _This_ -"

"Ah, now that looks like silverware," said Kelvin. "So that's probably some kind of silverware sorting machine? Cleaning machine? Not for killing people?"

Mara looked at the drawing more closely, then showed it to him again. "The shapes are a coincidence. This part pulverizes stone into dust. This part liquefies metal. And this part boils people's blood without raising the ambient temperature." She threw them all to the floor. " _This_ is what comes out of my head, Kelvin. Horrible devices. Instruments of death! Do you see what I have against Sparks now? I'm no better than any of them! I mustn't be given the chance to _make_ any of these things!"

"But..." he said, slowly pointing at 'Puri,' "But-but you made that. That's nonlethal. Right?"

"It was going to have a death ray, Kelvin," she said, staring at him intensely. "Do you know _why_ it doesn't have a death ray?"

He swallowed. "Ah..." he said, "Because... you don't want to destroy the castle and everyone in it?"

"Ohh, you'd think that," she said. "That would make sense! _This_ is what stopped me." She held up her hands, indicating her wedding ring on the left and her betrothal ring on the right. Both had rather... substantial... gems, such as a 6-carat ruby for the wedding ring, and for the betrothal ring, a 2-carat emerald plus smaller diamonds and rubies surrounding it. "I came to my senses, and kept it nonlethal, after I found a tool I could use to pry the gems out and use them to focus the ray's beam. I was _this close_ to popping out this ruby, but even the Madness couldn't make _that_ happen."

"Well... thank goodness for that."

"And do you know why it uses a rope instead of c-gas?"

"Um..."

"Because I couldn't find any!" she said, and pinched her eyes together. "What's going to stop me the next time, Kelvin? Hm? Those were lucky breaks."

"I don't know," he said. "Your moral center?" She scoffed. "Darling, why don't you talk to Lady Heterodyne about this? She... indirectly... caused this, and is known to be a very strong Spark, so we will ask her - _nicely_ \- to take responsibility for this."

"I don't think it's safe for me to be anywhere near her right now."

" _After_ you've calmed down," said Kelvin. "And _before_ her holiday ends."

"...I'll think about it," said Mara. "Talking to her or not, what am I going to do now? How do I stop those... horrible ideas from taking over my head? When am I going to stop spewing out instruments of death?"

Kelvin stroked his chin in thought. After some pondering, he spoke. "I don't think this is something you can 'stop.' But it is something you can direct."

"Pfft."

"Don't 'pfft' me, hear me out," he said. "You've had the Spark since you were a little girl, since five or six, yes?" She nodded. "From what I hear, most of them don't show those signs until they're older. And then your father _beat_ you for using your gift." He lowered his voice to mutter partly to himself. "And for just about everything else." Then normally: "You yourself said you've feared and hated it ever since and have been trying to hide it. Even from _me_ , knowing I'd be very supportive of you."

"Well I didn't-- _know_ \-- exactly..."

"Well, I'm telling you now," he said. "I will be. You've been so afraid, and so _angry_ trying to hide it and suppress it for so long, no wonder all of your ideas are destructive. You want to know what's going to stop you next time? I will. The children will, too."

"Ohhh, nononono!" she said, backing away and pointing to the drawings. "They're not getting anywhere near these things!"

"None of _those_ things, no," he said, stepping towards her. He glanced back at Puri. "Probably not that, either. But that's my point. You don't _stop_ this gift, you _manage_ it. You set boundaries, limitations, rules. Just because you're a Spark doesn't mean you don't need them. They probably need them more than anyone."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm going to give you your first rule," said Kelvin. "You can only make devices that the children _can_ get near. And before they do, you show them to me."

For a long time, Mara was speechless. She kept trying to voice counter-arguments, but could only manage the first part or syllables of her words. It was when she stopped trying to argue, that the words finally returned. "I want to do that," she said softly. "But... what about the kingdom's rule about no sparky devices being in public?"

Kelvin shrugged. "Then they won't be in public," he said. "I don't know. We'll figure it out."

"' _We'll_ ' figure it out?"

" _Oui_ ," he said, and held his arms out to her. She stood her ground, head cocked. "Come on," he said.

"Noooo," she groaned, but complied, anyway, shuffling over.

" _Come on_."

"Nooo. I'm not worthy of you," she said, falling into his embrace. She rested her chin on his shoulder. It was good to be the same height.

He whispered, "Likewise," patting and rubbing her back tenderly. He kissed the side of her neck. "No more hiding. No more mistrust. It's a gift, not a curse. We're going to embrace it and manage it."

She whispered, "Yes, sir."

"Let go of the fear," he murmured. "The anger and hatred. Let them melt away from you. Flowing out like water... Draining away..." He could feel her body relaxing. "Listen to the ocean... Smell its sweet air... Breathe in deep... Let it out slowly..." He stopped talking to let her take in the white noise of the room and the gentle rubbing of her back. But soon enough he felt _himself_ start to sway backwards, so he straightened up abruptly. Mara stumbled and yelped, steadying herself by grabbing his arms.

"Whuh-huh-?"

"I'm so sorry, Darling," he said, steadying them both. "I think that you fell asleep! I forgot; you've been up all night. You must be exhausted!"

"I'll be fineWHAAAULP!" Kelvin had bent down and scooped her up into his arms. She gripped his shoulder hard, then relaxed after being steadied. Then she gave him a Look. "Really?" she said. "You're going to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Being 'manly' as often as possible?"

"You caught me," he said. "I'm going to be condescending to you all the time now, too. I'm going to be a terrible husband."

She sighed and leaned her head forward to rest it against his bicep, then closed her eyes. He took a moment to watch her, then carried her back to the bedroom. He could tell she had fallen right back asleep, and took extra care to place her in bed so as not to disturb this. After laying the sheets over her and tiptoeing away, she moaned. He looked back to see if she was awake again.

"Mmmmmm, dear, hand me the 3-speed aligning-" Her words faded fast, until the last part had become barely audible. "-Spanner with power torque zzzzzzzz..."

He paused to see if she had any other requests, and when she had none: "Of course, dear."


	4. We could all use more Intestinal Fortitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story so far:  
> -The Princess fixed the air purifier, after all  
> -And how!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on my Livejournal in Oct 2012
> 
> "This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."

\----------------------------------

The quartet took lunch outside on the patio. Castle Mouseheart food and drink were tastier than the fare in the towns and villages, and free, so their strategy was to load up before seeking to rescue more merchandise from their loathsome merchant masters. Sanaa brought the spoils of her previous shopping adventure with her to the table, to the others' dismay, and fished out different things to either admire or play with. She put other things away, but kept the plush Prince and Princess on the table. Then she carefully pulled out the folder containing the pictures that had been taken so far, such as their group picture with the Princess, some candid shots before the picture-taker had been shooed away, a picture of all four of them screaming in terror as their handcarved log canoe accidentally plunged down a waterfall - a good thing a passerby was around to take a snapshot! - and her pride and joy: posed pictures of herself with the Prince and with the Winslow. She showed them to the others but would not let them handle the pictures. 

"How did you get those?" asked Agatha. "You were with us the whole time. I don't remember seeing the Prince posing with people."

"And I never saw the Winslow," said Zeetha. "Where was he? And I was looking!"

"Ha! You're not the only ones who can be sneaky," said Sanaa. "I can be sneaky, too!"

**********

Mara found it more comfortable to stand while she was nursing Edward. She was pacing slowly, then stopped to look down from the nursery window, which was right above the women's patio. Isabel's stomach problems persisted. She was trying to be a good girl and not whimper or cry all the time, but even the bravest of two-year-olds had their limits. Mara finished feeding Edward and burped him, then handed him to the nurse to be put down for his nap. Mara rebuttoned her dress and scooped up Isabel in her arms./p>

"Your Highness," said the nurse. "She should have her rest."

"I'm going to take her outside for some fresh air," said Mara. "Then we'll be back."

On the way to the castle exit they passed the door to her and Kelvin's parlor/study, and she paused, then opened the door and watched the air purifier, still on the dresser, still making ocean noises.

"Puri," she said. It clicked. "Follow me."

A few seconds of buzzing, whirring, and clicking later, and the little headless clank joined its mistress for a trip through the castle. It had a jaunty, almost cocky, walk when not leaping at intruders. Isabel looked back sleepily to see what the noise was about, and gasped first in fright, and then, after looking back and forth between her mother and the jaunty clank, gasped in delight.

*********

Outside, Mara turned and made her way to the patio in her most refined manner. The foursome, finished with their meal, lingered and chatted and laughed amiably, until the clack-clack-clack of Puri's steps caught their attention. Three of them watched the scene with bemusement. The fourth, Agatha, fought to stifle giggles and grins. Mara reached the table and regarded them with her best impression of a regal Queen. Puri stopped a few steps behind her and waited for its mistress' next command.

"Ladies," she said. "Would it be an imposition if we joined you?"

"Ah..." said Violetta, looking to the others. "No, shouldn't be a problem."

Agatha grinned. "Oooo, I see you have-!"

Sanaa clapped her hands vigorously. "We get _two_ visits with you? Yay! And you brought your daughter, awwwww."

"Yes," said Mara. "But I'm afraid we can't stay long. I'm taking her outside for fresh air, but she needs rest. But, given that our first encounter didn't go as planned, I was hoping I could make amends. Unofficially, as myself, though that stretches the rules here almost to breaking." 

"Breaking rules: it's... what we do," said Zeetha mock-dramatically. 

"I sincerely do hope that you've enjoyed yourselves here," said Mara. 

"It's not bad," said Zeetha. "I mean, the scenery's pretty and all. At least one of us developed a shopping addiction." 

Sanaa did not hear Zeetha, engrossed in trying to figure out which of her merchandise she would ask the Princess to sign. 

"So, your kid's tired, huh?" said Violetta with a grin. "Long night of bouncing on the bed?" 

Agatha pointed at Puri. "Hey, mind if I take a look at-?" 

"I wish," said Mara, ignoring Agatha. "Her stomach has been bothering her for several days." 

Violetta perked up. "Oh?" she said. "Tell me more." 

"It's a discomfort," said Mara. "A queasiness. She's two, so it's difficult for her to describe." 

"What are you giving her?" 

"Our physician has prescribed Essence of Esophia, but-" 

"Tch!" said Violetta with a wave. "No wonder she's still unwell. That stuff's snake oil." 

"Excuse me, our Royal Physician is a learned and competent-" 

"Oh, I'm sure he is," said Violetta. "Went to the best schools, etc." She pulled out a tiny vial from a pouch on her belt. "Here: give her this. She'll be bouncing on beds again in no time." 

"Ah... I appreciate that you're trying to help, but-"

Agatha stood up. "Is it all right if I look at the clank while you two are-?"

"No, it is _not_ ," said Mara, giving her an icy stare. Agatha slowly sat back down. To Violetta: "Again, I appreciate your intentions, but I don't feel safe mixing medications. And what's in it, anyway? Are you also a physician?"

"Uh, no, but I have many years' experience with... chemicals," said Violetta. "Potions. Potent potables."

"They really are quite effective," said Zeetha. "I'd trust her potions over any 'royal physician's.' No offense intended."

"Don't worry about cross-effects with the esophia," said Violetta. "That stuff's not strong enough to affect _anything_. Not even what it's supposed to." She held up the vial again. "Now this, I call Intestinal Fortitude."

"Say, Princess, is that a clank with you, or are you just happy to see us??" Agatha looked around at her companions, who did not react well to her joke, if at all. Mara gave her a Look, then resumed her talk with Violetta.

"Ma'am, you must understand my hesitation at giving my child something unknown," said Mara.

"Of course," said Violetta. "But she only needs a few drops. Oh, and, about an hour later, it _cleans out_ the bowels, if you know what I mean."

"Ah... Yes," said Mara. "But I know that can also be good for the body. Er, just a few drops, you said?"

"Yep. Here. Keep the whole thing, on the house."

"Oh, thank you, that's very kind of you," said Mara. Violetta removed the stopper for her, and she dribbled the few drops onto her finger and balanced it while rousing her daughter. She held out the finger, and Isabel clamped her mouth shut and shook her head. "Please, Sweetie," said Mara, "This nice lady has given us medicine to help your tummy. She says it will make the rumblies go away." Isabel looked her mother in the eye a few seconds, then nodded and opened her mouth. Mara put in her finger and let her suck off the potion. Isabel grimaced at the taste of it, and groaned.

"Sorry," said Violetta with a shrug. "I didn't make it cherry-flavored."

"Did I just see what I think I saw?" said Zeetha. "You reasoned with a two-year-old... and it worked??"

Mara shrugged. "As soon as she started talking, we've been able to explain things to her. I've learned since that it's a bit unusual. Do any of you have children?"

" _No_!" they said in unison, and squirmed uneasily in their seats.

"Uh... Well, perhaps someday...?" said Mara.

"Speaking of children, may I _please_ look at your clank??" said Agatha, thumping the table for emphasis.

"And may I _please_ have your autograph??" asked Sanaa, thrusting an autograph book and their group picture at her. Mara was startled by both of the women, and looked from one to the other uncertainly.

"Come now, Sanaa, let her look after her daughter first," said Zeetha. "And _you_ , zumil, behave yourself."

Agatha drummed the table. "Oh, but it's so cute!"

"For heaven's sake, go look at it!" said Mara. Agatha giggled and ran over to examine Puri. Mara returned her attention to Violetta. "How long should it take for the effects to take place?" As if on cue, Isabel giggled and stood up in Mara's lap and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. Mara held her up in amazement and gasped. "Is your tummy better, Sweetie??"

"Tummy is bettah!" said Isabel.

"...About now," said Violetta with a grin. Mara and Isabel giggled and cooed and blew raspberry at each other. Mara showered her daughter with kisses, then sat her back onto her lap to bounce her and play the 'horsey' game.

"Hey, that's good stuff!" said Sanaa, trading palm slaps with Violetta. "Princess, do you mind if I say hello to her?"

"Not at all," said Mara. Sanaa scooted out of her chair and knelt down beside Isabel to play-talk with her.

"Remember," said Violetta. "You better have her next to a toilet in about an hour."

"Oh, oh, yes, you're right. Thank you. Thank you so much!" She was near tears. "What did you give her? What's in it?"

"Just... different things."

"Really; you can tell m-"

Agatha hit Mara's arm and pointed at Puri. "Hey, not bad," she said. "Is this your first clank? Huh! You added a sentry function, made it mobile... How's its targeting system? Uh-oh. You need a focus for the death ray, or it'll have _way_ too wide a spread. And you know what works surprisingly well for that? Gemstones. Different colors will have different effects-"

"There's no death ray."

"You put the housing in for one, but-"

"Lady Heterodyne-"

"-this kind of fuse will overload from the output-"

"Lady Heter-"

"And _here_ , if you use foam lining instead of rubber, there'll be less wear and tear on the compression valve... hmmm... oh, but you probably ran out of parts _here_ , and then-" Her voice dropped as her words became mere mumbles.

"Lady-"

"Hey!!" said Zeetha, throwing a wadded-up napkin at Agatha's head.

"What?"

"The Princess is talking to you!"

Agatha was momentarily confused, then remembered whose device it was. "Oh!" she said. "Sorry, your Highness. You were saying?" 

"Thank you, Zeetha," said Mara. "Lady Heterodyne, I appreciate your interest in my work, but I'm not looking for any advice. Or approval." She said the last words in an ever-so-slightly menacing tone, but with her best Pauper Princess smile. It had the intended effect: creeping Agatha the heck out.

"Hoh-kay," she said, tiptoeing back to the other side of the table. Sanaa also returned to her seat. There was an uncomfortable silence as Agatha sat back down. "Yeah," she sighed. "I guess I owe you an explanation."

"Not really," said Mara. "My husband thinks it was a prank because I was rude earlier. But I think you broke the purifier for a different reason."

" _Whaaaat_?" said the other three at once, looking at Agatha in horror.

Agatha shuddered. "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do." She shuddered again. "But your Highness, I had to, or felt that I had to. It was obvious - well, to me - that you were fighting that part of yourself, and it was making you miserable. Believe me, I know better than you think how that feels. And really, I was all set to just fix the purifier and go, but I couldn't find a replacement part it needed, so I started looking around the room for something to adapt. And then I found your secret closet."

"Ah."

"Even so, I should have looked the other way and finished the job," said Agatha. "But I got caught up in the moment."

"Yes, I have no idea what that's like," said Mara.

"I wasn't thinking what the consequences might be to you. Not bad, I hope? I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"I'm... not angry with you," said Mara. Agatha sighed in relief. "But I haven't decided whether to thank you, either. Things are a bit, um, in flux at the moment. Right now we don't know _what's_ been unleashed."

"Well, you've got a lovely clank, for starters," said Agatha, waving to Puri. Puri waved back and then saluted.

Isabel tugged at her mother's gown. "Momma, I wanna play," she said.

"Do you like jumping on beds?" said Violetta. "You should."

"Momma, may I jump onna bed?"

"Sweetie, you shouldn't listen to smoke knights," said Mara. "No jumping on the bed." She got the attention of one of the female attendants lingering nearby, who hurried over. Mara charged her with returning Isabel to the nursery. The attendant made her bows and began leading Isabel away, when Agatha jumped up from her seat.

"Oh, wait, may I say hello to her, too?" she said. "Or goodbye, that is?"

"You may."

Mara watched as Agatha dropped to a knee and waved at Isabel, who did not wave back. Instead the child stared at her, unmoving, until she reached out with her tiny index finger and touched Agatha's nose.

"Bzzzt!" she said, and giggled. Agatha touched her nose and smiled.

"Oh, that's cute," she said. "Is that how she greets people?"

"Er... no," said Mara. "I've never seen her do that before."

"She didn't do that to me," said Sanaa.

Mara knelt down to give her a daughter a goodbye hug and kiss. After they parted, Isabel "bzzz'ed" her nose, too, then giggled and waved goodbye to the group as the attendant led her away. Mara and Agatha stood up, exchanged looks, then quickly returned to their respective seats. Mara finally opened Sanaa's autograph book and signed it. Then she wrote on the group picture and handed both items back to her.

"Ohhh, this is nice," said Sanaa. " 'To my good friend Sanaa - May all your dreams come true. Adventure is out there! Mara Mouseheart, the Pauper Princess.' Aw, thank you, your Highness!"

Mara smiled and nodded her head once in acknowledgement.

"Hey!" said Violetta, hitting the table. "What did you say before about smoke knights?"

Mara half-smiled. "I was admonished for not researching you all properly, so I remedied that."

"Okay, but I didn't put anything on those forms about being a smoke knight."

"And Zeetha returned none of the optional forms, so we shouldn't know that she's a Princess herself," said Mara. "Speaking of which-" she turned to Zeetha and bowed her head - "Your Highness."

"Er... Huh?"

Violetta frowned. "Okay, you people are officially freaking me out now."

"We have a very good Marketing department."

Sanaa waved her hand enthusiastically. "Oh! What did you find out about me?"

Mara pondered her reply a moment. "That you seek adventure," she said with a smile. "Like your brother."

"That's so true!" gasped Sanaa. "You guys are good."

"Well, we can play the same game," said Violetta. "Your 'soup ladle' story checked out. Except that before meeting and marrying the Prince, the rest of your story is... murky, at best. Such as, where you learned your fight moves." She pointed between herself and Zeetha. "Not that neither of us could take you in a real fight, because we very much could. You caught us by surprise."

"Ladies," said Mara, "I have renounced violence, and did so some time ago. That part of my life is over."

"And a new part is beginning," said Agatha. Mara started her look as a glare, but it eventually softened into thoughtfulness. She nodded slowly.

"I'll give you that," said Mara. "Lady Het-" She sighed. "May it be 'Agatha?'"

"It may be," she said. "Mara."

"I've been petty about this, and it isn't right," she said. "I really should thank you for what you've done. I don't know what will come of thisss - well, my husband insists on calling it a 'gift' - but at least I'll be meeting whatever comes, as myself, in full. So I do, sincerely, thank you for that."

"Aww, don't mention it. And you know, if you ever need a break from all this provinciality, stop by Mechanicsburg sometime. At the very least, you'll be inspired by all the tech there."

Mara shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sure that I will be."

Zeetha muttered, "If it doesn't kill you first."

*********************

Later that evening Kelvin returned to their study and found his wife tidying up the mess from the night before. She was humming, which was not her custom, and moving with a relaxed grace. It took her a few moments to realize that he was there. He smiled quickly and waved in greeting, but she was not content with this. She ran to him, which surprised him a bit, and threw her arms around him and gave him a longer, deeper, warmer kiss than they'd had in a long time. Neither could say how much time had passed by the time they parted. She truly did look _at_ her husband now, deep into his eyes, seeing only him and not some distant memory.

Kelvin was loathe to interrupt this moment, but couldn't help it. "You had a better day today, I take it?" he said. She smiled and let her head drop forward so that they touched foreheads.

"I did," she said.

"Have you had enough rest?"

"Mmmm. I'll catch up tonight," she said. "Maybe," she added with a wicked smile. He chuckled before pulling her tightly to him. They traded many more kisses before falling onto a settee. She scooted closer and gently rubbed the back of his neck.

"You'll be happy to know," she said, "That I made peace with the Lady."

"That is good to know," he said. "And I hope that she had a good time. And her companions."

"Mm."

"I hope that _you've_ made peace, too," he said. She half-smiled, then leaned against him and rested her hand on his chest.

"It's a work in progress," she said.

Kelvin hummed in agreement, then put his arm around her and closed his eyes. Mara played idly with a button on his shirt, then cleared her throat.

"Darling-"

"-We should build a-" he said. "Oh, sorry, I interrupted."

"No," she said. "You first. I insist."

"Very well," he said. "I've been thinking: you're going to need a workshop. We should build you a workshop. After all, you can't go building things in _here_."

She sat up and stared at him in awe. "Really?" she said. "You're serious?"

"Of course," he said. "We can find some room or area that's not part of any tour. Somewhere safe, secure, and private. But you know your needs better than I. Can you think of a part of the castle that would suit your needs?"

"Er... I'm afraid to ask, but... the dungeon?" she said. Kelvin cocked an eyebrow. "I know it sounds like a cliche, but that area is underground, isn't part of any tour, it's isolated, has _strong_ walls, has good ventilation, it wouldn't be too difficult adding extra power sources..." She clasped her hands together in mock-pleading. "Please, Darling? If you made me an underground dungeon laboratory, I'd be the happiest wife on earth!"

"...That is something I can say I never expected to hear," he said, as much to himself as to her. "Er, yes, yes, I think that's feasible. But then, it _is_ used _as_ a dungeon at times."

"But only for prisoners in trial," she said. "And never to capacity."

"That's true," he said. "Even so, a Princess is not going to be wandering past a bunch of criminals whenever she needs to work. You'll need a private entrance."

She gasped in delight.

"Can it be a secret entrance??"

"As you wish," he said. "That is, if it's not difficult to construct and is inexpensive."

She squeaked with glee.

"We'll have to wall off the workshop from the main section, then," he said. She listened with widening eyes, her smile getting bigger and bigger. "Will you need one room, or a wing?" She squeaked again and covered her mouth, but could say no more. After a moment, he continued. "A wing, then." She shuddered and moaned. "You'll need to work with the construction crew and mechanics so that it's built to _your_ specifications." She was all but vibrating with delight. Her joy was affecting him, too, but he pretended that it was not. "Then we'll bring in whatever equipment you need-"

_Gasp!_

"-Tools-?"

_Gasp!_

"-Power supplies-?"

_GASP!_

"-Materials-?"

Mara could stand it no longer, and yanked her husband into a deep kiss, then fell backwards onto the settee. She fanned herself with her hand.

"Ohh, I love you so much," she moaned. "Ohhh, take me now!"

Kelvin wiped the sweat from his mouth. "Ahh, don't tease me like that!"

She looked at him incredulously. " _Tease you??_ " she said, hitting the side of the settee. "I said **take me now**!!"

*****************

After knocking over various items of furniture, not to mention breaking a few knickknacks, the two ended the evening spooning quietly in front of the lit fireplace. They had managed to bring in some pillows and fur blankets from the bedroom. Kelvin adjusted the blankets to better cover his wife, then buried his face into her hair and breathed in her aroma. Mara had her eyes closed but was still awake. Kelvin, though, was starting to drift off.

"Kelvin, my love," she said. He opened his eyes. That endearment was used for special occasions. "Today _has_ been a good day," she murmured. "Isabel was made well by, of all people, a smoke knight."

"A what?"

"-I may have befriended a famous Spark, but time will tell for that. And I'm on the way to making peace with my own, ah, 'gift,' as you call it. We've just had fanntassstic sex. And I have another reason to be in high spirits."

"Do tell," he said.

"We will also need to update the nursery," she said, and waited.

"Oh?" he said finally. "Is there something wrong with it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Er, yes," she said. "There aren't enough cribs in it."

"Oh," he said, and closed his eyes. Then they shot open again. "OH!"

*******************

A week later, Mara did not hide the reason for her "need" to stay up late tonight. She did have to assure her husband that she would not spend _all_ night disassembling or repurposing anything. While he slept in the next room, she spread out fresh sheets of paper and pencils, all sharpened nice and pointed. For the first time she also had pictures with her, and arranged various family portraits around the table. After taking a moment to stare at them one after the other, she closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, opened her eyes, and began sketching.

==============

There, see? Wasn't intolerable I hope. If you'd like more adventures of the sort-of-copyrighted Pauper Princess in the actually-copyrighted world of Girl Genius, please let me know!


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